X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE


BY: Walter Orsini
Submitted: 05.07.2009
RATING:

Not going to waste too much space talking about aspects you've undoubtedly read on a thousand other sites. Instead going to get a little fanboy on your ass and get into specifics about why this film, as a comic adaptation, just didn't work.

 

The fight with Deadpool at the end was kind of cool. Unless, of course, you're actually a fan of Deadppol. Then you're just swallowing back the bile rising in your throat watching him teleport and produce swords from his knuckles. Seriously, what was that all about? 

 

Happy Wolverine found himself a lady to keep him warm? Your heart cheering for the healing power of love? GOOD! Now you'll be just as pissed as he is when she's all shredded up in the woods. Like the Ma and Pa Kent-like old couple on the farm? GOOD! Now it means something to you when we tear a few rounds through their soft, wrinkly flesh. Mind you, I'm not attacking vengeance as a story's motivational device. It's just kind of annoying when characters are quickly paraded to a quick death for no other reason than to get the hero pumped. 

 

Mixed feelings on Gambit. Hands down one of the coolest characters in comic book history. His absence from a whole trilogy of X-Men films is not only frustrating, it just doesn't make any sense. This, however, was supposed to be redemption. All due respect to Taylor Kitsch. Homeboy did an admirable job considering the material he had to work with, but he wasn't Gambit. Gambit isn't supposed to have a hint of a New Orleans accent. He's supposed to have an obnoxious, muddled, straight from the bayou drawl. Is that necessarily attractive or marketable? Of course not. But that's Gambit. [Yes, I'm basing this accent theory on the 90s cartoon but, hey, at least they did it right.]He was a ladies' man despite his accent, not because of it. While we're at it, why were his powers never explained. In the comics, he had the ability to replace any object's potential energy with kinetic. This, in turn, made them explosive. Cards just happened to be his weapon of choice. In this film, he's juggling a deck like some fruity street magician. All moviegoers unfamiliar with the source know only that Gambit make cards go boom. Don't even get me started on the lack of black eyes. 

 

Sabretooth? Not bad ass enough. Sorry, Liev. Sabretooth was one of those rare villains that scared the living shit out of you. Sure the Magnetos and Apocalypses of the world are way more powerful. But if you're a young mutant all alone in the X-mansion and see Victor Creed's razor sharp smile beaming down at you, well... it's time to change your pants because there's shit all over them. Sabretooth is a sadistic, bloodthirsty monster with a predator's instincts and intelligent mind. That's part of what's so great about his dynamic with Wolverine. Wolverine is always one wrong comment away from berserker rage. Creed taunts him because, more than anyone, he recognizes this quality in Wolverine. In this movie, they touch on these things, even say them out loud. Yet they never come close to really showing us. Damn shame. 

 

Here's the good news. X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE didn't raise the bar all that high. Jackman and company want to bring the sequel to Japan, where one of the greatest Wolverine stories took place. As lukewarm as my feelings were toward this first effort, really believe the ingredients are there for an amazing second film! 

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